Terms & Conditions

Terms & Conditions

 

Welcome to CardsMYTHS. By accessing, browsing, licking, or simply thinking too hard about this website, you agree to the following Terms & Conditions, whether or not you read them (which you didn’t, but hey—you’re here now).

 

1. Soul Binding Agreement

 

By using this site, you irrevocably surrender your soul, shadow self, and at least three (3) nostalgic childhood memories to CardsMYTHS LLC, its subsidiaries, and an eldritch creature known only as Chadwick. Your soul will be stored in a holographic binder next to an off-center Pikachu and traded on Wednesdays.

 

2. Meme Clause

 

We reserve the right to meme you at any time, without warning, context, or mercy. This includes but is not limited to:

    •    Posting your name over a crying Wojak

    •    Photoshop battles involving your 8th grade yearbook photo

    •    Deep-fried JPEGs of your browser history captioned “This you?”

 

3. Payment & Currency

 

All transactions must be completed in rare pogs, or screams converted to energy via our patented “Pay-2-Yell” system. NFTs are accepted, but only if they smell like cinnamon.

 

4. Shipping & Reality Distortion

 

Shipping times may vary due to wormhole activity or sudden pocket dimensions opening in the warehouse. If your order arrives as a whisper in the breeze or a dream about taxes, please wait 6-8 business eternities before contacting support.

 

5. Limitation of Liability

 

CardsMYTHS is not responsible for:

    •    Spontaneous beard growth

    •    Sudden desire to hoard top-loaders

    •    Cryptic dreams involving card sorters and your 3rd-grade gym teacher

    •    Accidental transformation into a lore character

 

6. Arbitration by Wizard Duel

 

Any disputes shall be settled not in court, but via arcane wizard duel under the full moon, officiated by a sentient vending machine named Judge Sprinkles. BYOB (Bring Your Own Beard).

 

7. Termination

 

If you break the rules, we will revoke your access, your sleeves, and your right to pull an onyx. Your account will be sent to the Phantom Zone, where your profile picture will endlessly T-pose.

 

8. Final Note

 

By continuing to use this site, you agree to everything above and also agree to never ask about the locked tab labeled “The Truth.”

 

⸻

 

Thank you for visiting CardsMYTHS.

We own your destiny, your drip, and your memes.

 

If you have questions, please write them on a paper plate and slide it under your nearest closed door. We’ll get back to you eventually.