Privacy Policy

Privacy Policy

 

At CardsMYTHS, your privacy is extremely important to us. So important, in fact, that we’ve hidden it behind a waterfall in the metaphysical realm and trained a raccoon in a tiny wizard robe to guard it.

 

By visiting this site, you agree to the following policies, whether or not you’re aware you’ve agreed (you have), whether or not you read this (you didn’t), and whether or not you are currently wearing pants (optional, but encouraged).

 

1. What We Collect

 

We may collect the following personal information:

    •    Your name, your favorite type of sleeve, and the name you almost went by in middle school

    •    Your browser history (including but not limited to: “what is a double sided holo,” “can I eat top-loaders,” and “how to stage an intervention for someone addicted to penny sleeves”)

    •    Any psychic energy you project toward the screen

    •    Your snack preferences during late-night pack openings

    •    Footage from your webcam (just kidding… or are we?)

    •    The precise moment you considered starting a card-based cult

 

2. How We Use It

 

We use your information to:

    •    Improve our website experience for both humans and ducks

    •    Curate memes specifically targeted to your insecurities

    •    Whisper product suggestions into your dreams

    •    Summon you during lore-based rituals held in abandoned strip malls

    •    Train our AI chatbot “Memeothy” to impersonate your sarcasm level

 

3. Sharing Your Data

 

We may share your data with:

    •    Trusted partners, such as Sentient USPS Trucks, The Council of Beards, and one guy named Greg

    •    Ancient archivists who live inside a binder and sort memories by vibe

    •    TikTok interns who only speak in reaction gifs

    •    Absolutely no one… except when it’s funny

 

4. Cookies

 

Yes, we use cookies. Not the browser kind. Actual cookies. We mail them to people we like. If you haven’t received one, consider improving your vibe.

 

5. Security

 

Your data is stored securely inside a titanium vault guarded by three pandas in sunglasses and one emotionally distant frog. We’ve implemented quantum encryption and also just hope you trust us, honestly.

 

6. Your Rights

 

You have the right to:

    •    Request your data be deleted, printed, or embroidered on a bathrobe

    •    Refuse to be meme’d (but we won’t listen)

    •    Ask why your favorite card was replaced with a cryptic message that reads “Not yet.”

    •    Deny everything. Even this. Especially this.

 

7. Contact Us

 

To get in touch about privacy concerns, please:

    •    Whisper your question into a lava lamp at 3:43 AM sharp

    •    Send a hand-drawn self-portrait riding a unicycle to:

CardsMYTHS Interdimensional Privacy Dept.

P.O. Box 404 – Between Realms, Timehole 7

 

Or you can email us, but the lava lamp is faster.​

 

Thank you for trusting CardsMYTHS.

We promise to always sort your secrets in alphabetical order and only leak them in very stylish fonts.