Riddle Mizah

What begins with “P”, responds to stimulation by getting bigger, and generally is the biggest at night in the dark?

A. Pupils of eyes

What is the thing that is worn for protection, use your hands to get it off, and you can find it hard to feel properly when this is being worn?

A. Gloves

What is the thing you set on vibration when you want some time alone?

A. A phone

I’m the most fun when you put me in small holes and wiggle me around. What am I?

A. A Q-tip

It’s hard when it goes in but comes out wet, soft, and sometimes soggy.

A. Pasta

People use me to hold their buns, and I can leave a red mark if I have you too tight on your skin. What am I?

A. A hair tie

I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?

A:Your nose.

-Riddle Mizah (I Will Riddle You So Hard)

All day long it’s in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

A:An elevator.

-Riddle Mizah (My brain is moist.)

I’m spread out before being eaten. Your tongue gets me off. Sometimes people lick my nuts. What am I?

A:Peanut butter.

-Riddle Mizah (I haven’t blinked in 3 riddles.)

I start with a “p” and end with “o-r-n.” I’m a major player in the film industry. What am I?

A:Popcorn.

-Riddle Mizah (Now my phone thinks I’m into weird stuff.)

When I go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit and not swallow. What am I?

A:Your dentist.

-Riddle Mizah (I thought it was my ex. It wasn’t. I still cried..)

What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A:A seatbelt.

-Riddle Mizah (Even Kyle’s uncomfortable.)

I plow without fields.

I harvest regret.

You’ll find me where spreadsheets and loneliness met.

Click my post, I come with charm—

One free trial and half a barn.

What am I?

A:Farmer cr0w’s Economic Simulator (Craigslist Edition)

-Riddle Mizah (I clicked for crops. I stayed for Carl. He smelled like hay and emotional availability. I still owe him gas money)